Thursday, May 21, 2009
Trying to confess
I sit here less than 48 hours away from being a college graduate and am listening to an old Law & Order, watching my 3rd to last Reasonable Reason upload to the tube, and wondering which box posess the last 21 years of my life.
My dormroom of 3 years is a sad state of somewhere between a prison and a schoolbook depository with unmarked cardboard cubes lining the walls. The walls that once held smily pictures, a collection of musical theater window cards, and Beatles posters now look as if the command strips left behind were random, poorly thrown darts at a large picture of the Wicked Witch of the West or the evil stepsisters.
You might be surprised to hear that it's not a depressing setting that I am typing to you from. Trying to get a little R&R allows for memories to flow and laughter to seep back into these halls in the woods. Until just now, when a resident knocked on my window needing into the building and waking me up from this mirage of blissful nothingness of packing tape and Cinderella stories. No, I'm not sad to be graduating or leaving behind the things, the people, that I have come accustomed too, since 2005. Scared would be too easy for this girl. More of downright welcoming to an entirely new (let's cliche this posting a bit) chapter that will be opened. Or has that already begun...oh no, it's just the none-DW40ed creaking front door.
Actually, there is a big enough crack to peek in for now. Thankfully, I completed my finals, papers, and presentations on Monday afternoon and therefore have had time to take a few breaths, see that the sun is still shining, and pigs aren't flying to realize what reality is slapping me with. Which is a big, bright, beautiful world out there daring me to join it.
I will be staying in the DFW area in a great house, with a cool roommate from India, and we've got a big TV and a small pool. If size matters to you. My decision to remain in North Texas came after a very wise, yet younger person told me in a strict voice, "I'd hate for you to wake up one day regretting even one second in your life. So why not spend those precious seconds doing something to get you to what you love." Yeah, I know. Straight out of a movie (knowing this person...it's not that much of a stretch). Nonetheless, I bawled. I weeped. I revalated. And I told myself that I want to act.
Not too mention that I've got a great job with All Star Productions, at least on the weekends, and now it appears to be more; so yippie for that! I hate missing Maddie's senior year but hopefully my daily schedule will be a little more flexible to allow for visitations out of Cedar Hill...
But back to that 3-letter-word. I figure I've got just as great a chance to succeed and be happy in the TV/film world as Kris Allen did at winning American Idol tonight. So I've been taking classes and went to an amazing work shop this weekend with Jason Wood, a casting director straight from LA via Georgia if you can believe that. He's casted things like: Fried Green Tomatoes, Dr. Dolittle, Behind Enemy Lines, Creatures of Darkness, Samantha Who?, Monk, blah blah blah..he was so great. And just has this way of working with actors that I was so blessed to be a part of. I will continue my search for happiness on camera with everyday and take each day's opportunities with a grain of sugar, sand, balsamic, and ground meat. Except for days that I'm veggy-ing it up.
Okay, this has digressed enough but I wanted to check in with all of the world and say that you've got a lot of catching up to do if you have missed the last 48 days of your life without watching my 50 Reasonable Reasons for Ellen Degeneres. I am actually having a phone conference with THE GLADYS HARDY herself tomorrow afternoon for the 49th Reasonable Reason why I want to work for the Ellen Degeneres Show...so if you've missed any or all (you can go here and see 'em) then I suggest you check back to THIS SITE tomorrow evening and hear what amazingness will come from a conversation with Gladys and I.
If you don't know who Gladys is..go here and watch her phone convo with Ellen D. a few years ago... brills.
peace. love. and duct tape.